There are at least 7 giant Quilt Show fails that have occurred over the past two years that I could make entire entries over for the 7 non-Paducah residents who are reading this blog. But since I don’t really care, nor does any other Paducah-resident-non-quilter care to read, I’ll just summarize with half-truths.
The City of Paducah sold the shitty hotel and convention center where the show was held for 47 years to a terrorist. He shittied it up more by never renovating properly, or maybe at all, so then we had to blow up the hotel. Then the quilt show was all like “Hey we’re not gonna come to Paducah anymore because ya’ll are stupid and now we don’t have anywhere to put the quilts” so Paducah officials freak over losing precious 10% quilter tips and inflate a giant tent dome in order to uh…have somewhere to have the quilts? Seriously though, we have a $2 million TENT now.
So this is already taking too long and I haven’t even told how PADUCAH FLOODED CIRCA TWO DAYS AGO and wouldn’t you know that quilt dome is on the WRONG SIDE OF THE FLOOD WALLS (which yes, are in place) so now the goddamn show has been strewn about from an Office Max building by the mall to like Ohio. CAT-TAS-TROPHE!
So the point I never wanted to make in this entry is that Quilt Week ’11 is WACK. Not only are many of the quilters convinced they are going to die, the poor old regular folk of surrounding counties really might die. Or they at least can’t get to work. Because most people are not the Suhrheinrichs and do not have canoes.